There Is No News*

Qualifications

• I am so well qualified that most of my qualifications are too.

• I am an advisor to the Prime Minister of Australia; though he never listens to me.

• I am an opinion columnist for The Australian newspaper; though they have not yet published any of my opinion columns.

• I work for and am apparently co-sponsor/part-owner of the tax office and other government departments and programs; though I have never been given a contract to sign. What? Don’t you believe me? You don’t think the arrangement would hold up in court? Okay then, I secede!

• I am currently (as I write this) working on a short autobiographical work.

• I am a card-carrying member of the National Library of Australia.

• I am fully toilet-trained.

• The art/practice/science/trade I am qualified in is, with Diogenes of Sinope, “That of governing men.”

Political Motives

“What political parties/movements are you affiliated with?” Pretty much all of them, unfortunately.

“What are your political views?” If you read my publications on the subject, or at least between the lines of them, or if you haven’t read them, or if they were never written — which, unfortunately, or merely tautologically, would come to the same — what I believe the proper role of government to be will be apparent.

Psychological Motives

“What shapes your thoughts?” My world-view is profoundly shaped by the Shoah, entitling me to the moral high-ground. (Hah! I got there first.) Ultimately, however, I do not know what shaped my thoughts, because my thoughts, or at least the ones I am still possessed by, were not yet there in their surviving form at the time.

“Are you insane?” No, I do not believe in mental illness.

“What are your real psychological motives?” Actually, I don’t have any psychological motives; I just have plain motives.

Economic Motives

“Who funds you?” I accept funding from all sources, thus establishing my impartiality.

“What is your economic background?” When I was a kid I was so poor that … My parents had to work so hard that …

“Ha, ha. But what is your real economic motive?” Money.

Sociological Motives

“Why do you wish to engage with society in this way?” Actually, I prefer the society of books to the society of people. And, besides, I have read Main Street and am pleased it is not a longer work.

Real Motives

Finding and communicating the truth. Why? Because I hate people who espouse error, especially those who do not even consider their reasoning. Why? Because I like hating them. Why? Because it amuses me. Why? Because I like discrediting those deserving of it. Why? Because I like to be hated, because I like the moral high-ground, because …

Resorting to questioning my motives shows that I have failed to communicate why I enjoy doing what I am doing effectively. Of course, those who question my motives do share the blame, for writing for such stupid people, who refuse to tackle the arguments provided, is no easy task. So, why do I do it?

The reason I write and even publish my ideas and notes is so that it I can reference it more easily, and also for safe-keeping. One day I might find something useful for it. Why do I think this?

… de gustibis non est disputandum.